Neville Night Soil

There was a time, hard for today’s youth to contemplate, when not all houses were connected to the local sewage system. This was often because there was no local sewage system. As a child of the fifties, I was spared the joys of the outhouse, the thunder box, that icon of the Australian back yard which also served as the home library.
Fate caught up with Neville one morning, fully loaded, running late, the streets already busy early risers and other off to work. Neville took the corner of the town’s busiest intersection just a little too fast and tipped his entire load into the middle of the roadway.

Essence of Holy Water

Some say this marks a turn-around in the ever-growing rift between religion and science. This invention is clearly at least as important a discovery as nuclear medicine and mobile phones.

The purified liquid is so potent, that sinners within a 5 kilometre radius found themselves completely forgiven for their sins without the onerous burden of having to present to the confessional.

Initial fears that the power was well, so powerful, it had many worrying commonalities with enriched uranium however further tests have discovered no ill affects from coming into contact with the concentrate.

Cheryl

She was the love of my life. I was seventeen and a half, for I was still counting halves in those days. I know my body was seventeen (and a half) but I do believe my brain was about fifteen.

Cheryl was the barmaid at the Rising Sun Hotel, nothing to do with Japan you understand, just a regular Australian pub, full of hard working, hard drinking blokes that, while not an endangered species, are less common these days.

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